Mixtape #119: and it goes...
doot doot
December 4th, 2022
Side A
1. Doot doot by Freur
2. Primitive painters by Felt
3. Heaven or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins
4. Life in a Northern Town by The Dream Academy
5. Catch The Breeze by Slowdive
Side B
6. Sunlight Bathed the Golden Glow by Felt
7. Two Step by Throwing Muses
8. Pearly-Dewdrops’ Drops – 7” Version by Cocteau Twins
9. Falling by Julee Cruise
10. Power to Believe (Instrumental) by The Dream Academy
Liner notes
I’m starting a new newsletter project here on Substack. It’s a novel, called portrait of a body (in pieces), and I’m sending it out in serial format starting in January. It’s free to read and I’d love for you to join me. You can sign up here:
I’ll also be sending a monthly mixtape to accompany the chapters of the story, so look out for those.
The humorist David Rees has a quote I think of often: “Every great work of art is either a puzzle or a dream.” He said it on an episode of the podcast Blank Check about the film Spirited Away, which is almost certainly the latter, but also perhaps partly the former. A puzzle within a dream. Some of my favourite films blur that line completely, but most are at least one of the two; Vanilla Sky, Se7en, Inception, Memories of Murder.
A lot of my work is about dreams, too. I’m not saying my writing is great art, but I’m fascinated by those constructs. Reality has never been of much interest to me. Realist art and domestic drama are among my least favourite. Perhaps because reality has often been a difficult place to be for me. And so I dream, invent, fantasise.
My debut novel Johnny Ruin took place entirely within the mind of the protagonist, a psychedelic road trip where nightmares, dreams, and fantasies blended together.
The new novel perhaps blurs that line between puzzle and dream. This time the story takes place in world we recognise, perhaps 1-2% removed from reality.
If it depicts a dream, it’s the kind of dream where you’re not sure you’re dreaming. One where everything feels real enough, but slightly off somehow. It’s never explicitly said that it’s a dream. But it’s not clear that it’s reality either.
The puzzle in the story is the protagonist himself. He’s in pieces. lLiteral body parts are missing – his brain, his heart, an arm, an eye (among others) – and he needs to find them to make himself whole. If only he could remember where he’d left them.
As I’ve spoken about in this newsletter, I’ve been out of the game for a while. And I’ve been clawing my way back, slowly. Piece by piece.
So this is a novel about the last five years of my life, in many ways: How to rebuild after a break down. How to pull yourself together after falling apart.
The missing organs and limbs are a way to illustrate a mental break, to give physical form to something that often can’t be seen.
It’s also a way to make the book funny. Depression isn’t a joke, but it can be funny. Humour is one of the ways we flood our brains with the good chemicals. Laughter is how we survive long nights in the dark.
Funny, sad, hopeful. If you’ve read my work, you’ll know the tone. And if you liked my work, hopefully you’ll like this one too. I’m only part way through writing it, but I’m super excited for you to read it. The first chapter goes out on January 1st, 2023.
On the subject of dreams, here’s a playlist of dream pop anthems designed to let your mind, and perhaps your body, float among the clouds a little. Hopefully those clouds aren’t grey. Hopefully your dreams are good. Until next time.